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The International Fellowships
Sex-Related 12-Step Programs
How They Started & Why They Differ
Seventy-five meetings will take place this week in Colorado, dealing with sex, love & relationship addiction, sexual co-addiction or survival from sexual abuse. Having started in Denver in 1984, these Colorado meetings often call themselves "S" groups because they deal with "sex-related" behavioral problems. They are applying the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Al‑Anon Family Groups to the damaging behaviors around obsessive and compulsive sexuality. Beginning in 1976, the 12-Step movement for sex addictin has gradually spread across borders, interstate as well as international. A 1998 international survey by the National Council On Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity cited 35,990 members among thirteen different fellowships meeting in all fifty states and thirty-seven other nations. Problems from sexual compulsivity seem to be present in all cultures around the world, so they reach out with help for those who are suffering.
People
often ask why there are so many fellowships and how they differ. The
worldwide fellowships originated in widely separated parts of the USA (Boston,
Minneapolis, Southern California). Each had already begun taking shape before
learning of the others. As a result, they developed differing customs and beliefs
and, most of all, formed separate networks.
The differences have much to do with the personalities and needs of the
founding members... especially the experiences and precepts penned by those
founders in their texts, often referred to as their "basic text" or
"big book."
They all have a common belief in the 12‑step, 12‑tradition program originated in 1935 by Alcoholics Anonymous. And too, the 60 to 90 minute weekly meetings embrace many common rituals borrowed from AA and Al-Anon. Practices such as reciting the Serenity Prayer, introducing oneself by first name, or reading favorite passages from the AA "Big Book" or Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, to name just a few.
We'll start with the earliest fellowship (SLAA) and then switch to alphabetical order.
WORLDWIDE MEMBERSHIP
SLAA
‑ The Augustine Fellowship of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous www.slaafws.org
SLAA
was founded in Boston in 1976 by a musician and several other AA members. Their's
has always held a broad paradigm embracing both male and female compulsivity
and incorporating relationship and codependency issues. As a result, SLAA has
the largest representation of women among all addict groups (42% compared to
15% or less in the others). In 1987, SLAA meetings were established in Colorado
and today number ten. Worldwide, they are the largest "S" fellowship with
1,320 meetings or some 13,200 members in all fifty states and twenty-four other
nations.
SLAA founders were comfortable enough about sexual addiction recovery to publish meeting locations in area meeting lists and are often cited in the weekly events section of the local newspaper. One often finds an "open" meeting in each city to which anyone may "walk in" to learn more about SLAA.
Issues of obsessive and compulsive sexuality, fantasy, love and relationships and sexual anorexia
Their basic text is distributed internally and also, unlike most of the other fellowships, through a major retail outlet (Hazelden) which has gotten it to an additional ten thousand readers. They have a bi-monthly periodical, The Journal, patterned after AA's Grapevine. Stories shared by members provide those in remote places with "a meeting through the mail." In 2003, a soft-cover set of books was released (1,033 pages in three volumes), titled The First Ten Years of The Journal containing 410 SLAA member stories.
Their concept of recovery encourages each woman and man to make a personal list of "bottom‑line" behaviors which are causing havoc in their lives. Being sexually sober means not acting out" those intriguing or abusing rituals. "Top line" goals are listed which include intimate behaviors which enrich one's committed relationship or nurture one's self.
Sex & Love Addicts and Anorexics Anonymous (SLA3) meetings developed among SLAA members struggling with compulsive "acting in", that is, feeling powerless about their fears and avoidance of sexuality and intimacy. Like other SLAA members, their goal is healthy relationships, but the focus is to stop "acting in". Out of a fellowship‑wide concern, came an SLAA pamphlet entitled, Anorexia: Sexual, Social, Emotional.
Co‑S.L.A.A. is a fellowship of meetings for persons in a codependent relationship with a sex and love addict which came about in New England in 1988. Citing only fourteen meetings, Co‑S.L.A.A. currently is not represented in Colorado.
COSA
‑
Codependents of Sexual Addiction
www.cosa-recovery.org
In
1978, the year following the creation of SAA, several of those therapist's spouses
began a weekly support meeting they dubbed "C.O.S.A." They too
were very careful about confidentiality and not until a second group began in
1980, made‑up of persons from less visible walks of life, did COSA begin
to make its presence known. National networking was carried out entirely by
the Minneapolis Twin Cities Intergroup until a National Service Organization
materialized in 1993.
Issues of codependency with sex and relationship addicts (straight or gay/married or other)
Their monthly newsletter, Balance, is mailed to paid subscribers. COSA women and men are not necessarily currently in relationship with a recovering sex addict. Although their annual convention is conducted jointly with SAA, at a local level COSA meetings conduct their own retreats and participate quite independently as a peer of all other "S" meetings.
ISA
• Incest Survivors Anonymous
www.lafn.org/medical/isa
ISA
started in 1980 in Long Beach CA with eight women mostly from AA. They carefully
screen newcomers in order to prevent initiators (perpetrators) from taking over
meetings. Of their 110 meetings, none are located in Colorado.
RCA
‑
Recovering Couples Anonymous www.recovering-couples.org
RCA
was started in 1988 in Minneapolis, MN by three couples with recoveries in SAA,
COSA, BAA (Bulimics & Anorexics Anonymous), CODA (Codependents Anonymous)
and Al‑Anon. Their
concept has been to work through the 12 Steps as a couple.
Rebuilding trust & intimacy (straight or gay, married or committed others)
All of the issues inherent in a member's other 12-step program are relevant and welcome so the twosome can develop greater openness, honesty and trust. Straight, gay and lesbian committed couples are included in most meetings. RCA has a 150 page "big book", ten other literature titles, audio‑ tapes from conferences, and a newsletter called Hand In Hand.
SA
‑ Sexaholics Anonymous
www.sa.org
Started
by a Silicon Valley technical writer in 1978, these meetings carefully patterned
everything after Alcoholics Anonymous: coining the name "sexaholics", adopting
a fellowship‑wide definition for sexual sobriety, and like the founders
of AA, passionately sharing this journey with others.
A mention of the SA post office box in a Dear Abby column in 1982 resulted in a deluge of 3,000 inquiries. Responding took a year and from that grew little pockets of meetings across the USA, Canada and Germany. In February 1984 an SA meeting was founded in Denver and then moved to Boulder, becoming the state's first "S" group. In June 1984 SA began semi‑annual, fellowship‑wide gatherings, perhaps the most important contribution to its rapid growth. A big book and a quarterly newsletter (Essay) supported its struggling little groups separated by hundreds of miles.
SA's goal is "progressive victory over lust" which focuses on eliminating obsessive sexual thoughts. They state that "any form of sex with one's self or with partners other than the spouse is progressively addictive and destructive". Fellowship‑defined sobriety is simple for newcomers and provides a singular focus for all participants. Today among their 420 meetings are perhaps a thousand members with two or more years of continuous SA‑defined sobriety as well as a few old‑timers with more than thirty. There are 35 weekly meetings in Colorado including the twenty-one that make up the very active Denver Unity SA Intergroup (www.denversa.org).
SAA
‑ Sex Addicts Anonymous www.saa-recovery.org
SAA
originated in Minneapolis, MN in 1977 when a group of ten men (nine psychotherapists
and a judge) began a very clandestine weekly meeting. They had an acute need
for confidentiality and cautiously put the word out only among other professionals.
At first they had male-only, female-only meetings, but today SAA has mostly
mixed meetings and women number about 15%. SAA has always been a safe and supportive
place for recovering sex offenders including sponsorship of meetings in many
prisons.
The fellowship gradually became more open and 80% publish their locations and
times on the internet. A few Colorado meetings, however, do not disclose their
meeting location in order to protect the anonymity of their membership. They
offer access through a published phone number and then meet inquirers at a local
restaurant before escorting them to the first meeting.
Issues of sexual compulsivity, impulsivity and l or sex offending
With a broad diversity of heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual behaviors being addressed, the fellowship developed from its start a concept of each member defining his or her own "boundaries" between sober, healthful sexuality and the old sexually compulsive rituals. Individuals are urged to respect the sobriety definitions of others no matter how much that differs from oneself.
SAA produced a basic text in 2005 called "Sex Addicts Anonymous" or the "Green Book." In addition, many meetings have used as their text the Hazelden book Hope and Recovery, penned during the 1980's by SAA members. Their monthly publication, The Outer Circle, contains recovery stories and opinions on various issues as well as announcements. Today there are 1,200 meetings worldwide and sixteen make up the Colorado SAA Intergroup (www.colosaaintergroup.org).
S-Anon
International Family Groups www.sanon.org
In
1982, some spouses of Sexaholics Anonymous members in Los Angeles formed S‑Anon,
patterned after Al‑Anon. Local meetings were soon supplemented by semi-annual
regional and, eventually, international conferences in cooperation with SA.
As literature titles increased, their "written word" resulted in a steady
growth of meetings and personal recovery.
Issues of codependency with sexaholics (straight & married only)
Their quarterly newsletter, S‑ANEWS, is mailed to each of their 150 meetings and then reproduced again for local members. S-Anon Recovering Couples groups started in 1987 and now include two dozen meetings nationally.
SCA
‑ Sexual Compulsives Anonymous www.sca-recovery.org
SCA
was started in New York City in 1982 by several gay men. Taking ideas from other
"S" groups plus AA, OA, and Al-Anon, they formulated a sobriety concept
called a personal "sexual recovery plan.” Adopting books like Hope
& Recovery, and Out Of The Shadows (Carnes, Hazelden 1983), they
spread gradually in the gay communities of New York City and Los Angeles. With
no meetings and only a few "loners" in Colorado, gays and lesbians
attend the other "S" meetings.
Issues of sexual compulsivity and relationships (mostly gay men)
Their 29-page booklet, SCA—A Program of Recovery, and four other titles contain a rich expression of the recovery process in the language of the gay sub-culture. With 200 weekly meetings worldwide, they have created an extensive website with online meetings which is reaching an international following. They also publish a quarterly newsletter called The SCAnner.
SIA
‑ Survivors of Incest Anonymous www.siawso.org
In
1982 several women in Baltimore determined that their AA, Al‑Anon and
OA recoveries were insufficient to address their issues from sexual trauma victimization.
They defined "incest" to include
most every sexual trauma of childhood. They thoughtfully rewrote the AA 12 Steps
to reflect the issues of this wounded population.
They began writing and their 54 literature titles are the most extensive offering of any "S" fellowship. In 1989 a merger was worked out with Sex Abuse Anonymous in St. Cloud, Minnesota which brought a needed group of new literature titles. Later that year a second merger with Sexual Abuse Anonymous of Long Beach, California, brought a large number of west coast meetings. Their 372 meetings dot the USA and eleven foreign countries, including one in Boulder, Colorado.
Issues of survival from childhood sexual abuse ‑ healing and support
Most SIA meetings are open only to non-perpetrators so that victims will feel safe. Some designate themselves "women only" or "men only". Since many survivors later became perpetrators, a growing number of meetings allow those who perpetrated in the past to attend but limit sharing to past acts. Men or women currently perpetrating are generally not welcome and are expected to do their recovery work in other fellowships for sex offenders. Meetings allowing perpetrators are expected to clearly explain this at the start each time so that attendees will not be surprised.
SRA
• Sexual Recovery Anonymous www.sexualrecovery.org
Several
mostly-gay meetings pulled away from Sexaholics Anonymous in 1990 in British
Columbia, Canada calling themselves Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA). Two years
later, they were joined by a dozen defecting SA meetings in New York City. Today
there are over thirtymeetings, none in Colorado.
INDEPENDENT LOCAL MEETINGS in COLORADO
Hundreds
of independent "S" meetings are to be found worldwide, wearing names
like Adult Children Of Sex Addicts (Minneapolis), Prostitutes Anonymous
(Los Angeles), Adult Male Survivors of Sexual Trauma (Houston), or
the two meetings of SCA‑Anon in New York City. Colorado has
two such independent groups which function locally and have no international
service office.
SexA
‑ Sex Anonymous of
Colorado Springs (www.coloradoservicegroup.org/colospgmtg.htm)
Meetings
began in the summer of 1987 in Colorado Springs when three men from AA and Cocaine
Anonymous (CA) adopted the AA big book and Out Of The Shadows as a source
of help for their sexual compulsivity. The Tuesday night meeting soon extended
to Thursdays and Saturdays. In 1989, they reached out to sex addicts behind
bars in Canon City. That meeting at Freemont Correctional Facility averages
forty and includes a step study every other week. Choosing to remain unaffiliated,
these meetings have been very ecumenical with the other "S" groups
in their state.
RSOA
‑ Recovering Sex Offenders Anonymous
of
Greater Denver
(www.coloradoservicegroup.org/rsoa.htm)
They
began meeting in Lakewood in 1992 as a place for those who have committed sex
offences to find mutual support to never again offend others. Like the other
"S" groups, they work the 12 Steps to "clean up the wreckage of their past,"
to feel accountable to the others in the group, and to heal from the sexual
and emotional abuse they themselves suffered in childhood. Members with eight
and ten years of sexual sobriety are linked with those just entering recovery
and possibly just getting started in the criminal justice system. This weekly
meeting in greater Denver is unaffiliated with worldwide fellowships and utilizes
literature and various recovery tools from the others.
RECOVERY IS HAPPENING
The diversity
of approaches to the psychological disorder of sexual dependency has
created a rich resource of help for a people imprisoned in shame and denial.
Since 1976, these people have banded together to find hope and sexual health
through the 12‑Step process proven so effective for alcoholics. Gradually
they are climbing out of broken lives which were threatened with financial ruin,
health problems, suicide attempts, severe depression, broken relationships,
failed reputations, lost jobs, incarceration or the threat thereof and recurring
emotional upheaval from the unhealed traumas of childhood. Today the word "recovering"
characterizes these lives, and they are helping one another while reaching
out empathetically to "those who still suffer."
©
1994, 1999, 2004,
2008, 2010 Colorado Service Group Inc., PO Box 284, Englewood CO 80151
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